.Truth Is.

I can’t let my emotions break me,

I won’t allow this pain to destroy me,

All of my weakness lies on the surface,

Its like they are looking right trough me,

They no longer see a person.

I’ve wasted all of my energy trying to push down this torment,

Trying to hide tears that I know are just worthless,

Am I the only one that can feel myself fading?

Well no longer I will be here waiting,

Your acceptance is no longer necessary,

The visions that were once blurry are now past visionaries.

I’ve given up trying to make these people understand ,

that I am still only human,

I accepted the consequences of everything I’ve done,

I hurt you, you’ve hurt me, and vice a versa,

But no longer will I weep,

I believe im strong enough now to stand on my own two feet.

I'm no longer the child that use to sit alone and cry,

I can now focus on reality, I no longer fantasize,

All of us together happily?

That must have been a joke,

When I say how I feel I will no longer choke,

An independent intellectual I have become,

And I feel sorry for no one,

you’re the only victim to your ridiculous denial,

And im happy to have gone trough, what ive gone trough,

Cuz now I can say finally without rage,

That my papers will no longer be filled with your malignant hate.

Truth is I feel like now I can close the book,

For something that took to me years to finish,

And made me crumble up and wonder,

Will I ever win this?

Truth is I believe you are a liar,

A faker that no matter how honest I was,

It meant nothing to you until I fed you my blood.

Truth is you made my weakness your strength,

And took advantage of what was meant to be thanked.

Truth is im strong,

Truth is im smart,

Truth is im more cultured

Truth is im respected

Truth is im depended upon,

Truth is im able

Truth is im majestic

Truth is im beautiful

Truth is im not weak

Truth is im strong enough to speak

Truth is im im moving on

Truth is im done.

.Table For Two.

Table For Two

By: Marie Castiano

Scene Setting:

(Single mother awaits, her baby daddy to arrive, preparing for the great debate. Single mother sick and tired of carrying on her own. She knows now, that all that matters is her son, and just wants the father to be there, with our without funds…)

Ms. MC:

“can’t wait for this trash talker to get here.” she angrily mumbles under her breathe.

As she looks out the window, eagerly seeking her guest.

She looks up to see, knighted mr. trash talker in the flesh, her teeth now cringe,

As her thoughts slowly manifest.

Mr. Trash:

“You look great baby cakes, and even that’s too much, I mean im juz saying, after all you went trough. I drove all the way over here just to see you, must be a pleasure boo, for real baby girl, you lookin too damn good.”

Ms. MC:

“well that’s real sweet words, even for a man like you, forgive my harsh tone, but I aint your damn boo. If you don’t know what your down here for, well here’s blues clue. 10 damn months after birth, and not a single sight from you.”

Mr. Trash:

“woah hold up now, beba, where’s this coming from? I thought we agreed all we had was fun. Can’t go back on all that shyt you was on, telling me “oh, well if you really want to, then I guess I want to too, I really love you baby, I really want to”.

Ms. MC:

“ha ha ha, you must out your damn mind, got me twisted with the low life freaks you be grinding all the time. How the hell you gonna tell me, our commitment was none, when we’ve been in this since before you ever even got some!”

Mr. Trash:

“yea well I guess in that part your right, but how the hell am I suppouse to know that baby is mines? Last I heard, after you and me was done, you would have gave a nickel and a dime just to get some”.

Ms. MC:

“don’t come at me with all that fakery and nonsense, cuz Im not having that, you know damn well anybody around here would have disrespected me, no question, next day, straight up, laying six feet deep. And say word son, cuz I even saved you, had to tell crew to chill, that you would show up soon. Even homies, skillz, pit and abys, were ready with their glocks, had all my people straight up flaming on the block!”

Mr. Trash:

“ well wat you want from me now, cuz I’ll tell you straight up, we aint getting back together, I don’t care who’s on the block. I know all you want is this dough, but im not giving you shyt you ain’t worked for!”

Ms. MC:

“I don’t care about your dough, or your hourly wage, or your one figure salary that you sweat for all day. I don’t care about us, I know that’s fantasy is done, I know now to be careful with whom I give my love! I called you here solemnly because….”

(single mother held her head down, ready to dismiss, all the cruel words spoken by her and his, gathered all her energy to humbly forgive, and remember what she promised her son…. “I promise you, by the time im done, you’ll have both mom and daddy, flesh, soul and bone”…..she looked up at the man, who had caused her so much pain, and remembered the first man who had made her feel pain, who was a ghost in her life, a missing heart frame….her father)

Ms. MC:

“look out any window on the ave, any window in our projects, and you’ll see what our children don’t have. What statistics they fall under, and remember what we didn’t have. You grew up without your father, I grew up without mines too, I know how much it hurt you, no girl knows you more than I do. No girl has held your hand while you spoke about your pops, how vivid those nightmares were, leaving your mother, their empty without any sense of self-worth. Those days are history, but it doesn’t change what we went trough. I look at our son in his eyes everyday, and I swear all I can see reflected is my fear that you’ll do me the same. Please, please, please (tears rolling down her eyes) don’t let our child become victimized! All I ask is for your acceptance, and possibly your heart, to do what your father couldn’t do for you, give our son your heart.”

Mr. Still Trash:

“I’ve known you forever, and I should have known better to be calling you out your letter. I apologize because for as long as I can clarify, you never gave me a reason to think that you would lie.”

Ms. MC:

“apology accepted, I knew it all in self-defense, but tell me knighted one, do you accept? Or do you reject?”

Mr. No Longer Trash:

“I knew he was our son, but from fear of being played dirty, I called what he had -fun-. In all honesty I ran away from us, I never stopped loving you, not even from that day, when you thought it was the last time that I walked away. Cant believe that even then, you still had more strength than me, I blew you off, but you called me, cuz I know deep down inside you still believe in me. I accept without regret, and may I never forget, that’s all about our son now, no victim, or statistic, falling under no category, just lil mr. no longer trash MC jr. the only real glory we have in our story.”

Scene Ends:

(smile and tears on single mother’s face, hugs the man that had her raged for 10 months after birth, so happy she maintained her self-worth, and helped to break the cycle of the “no daddy” curse)

.The Kid in the Back.

The kid in the back

By: Marie Castiano

His Eccentricity was always so special,

And viewed from a point so extra terrestrial,

Rarely ever recognized or maybe just feared.

Concerned with being accepted,

maintained himself in the rear.

Here and there some gossip was spread,

But left in corners

As to not awaken the dead.

Young man,

was a starving man,

But no one ever knew,

Some say he carried it all in his shadow,

So no one had a clue.

Hard headed,

Tough looking,

Had a G status to him,

But silence were the only words

that were fed to them.

Every chance he got,

he would start fading away,

No one ever listened to him,

never cared what he had to say.

They

Called this man,

“the quiet one”

But they could never

hear,

Him screaming…

at the top of his lungs…

Without anyone ever replying more than once.

To him in his mind

they all were ants in a line,

bugs he could crush,

He slowly, created a vortex

Of which he could only enter,

And soon everyone realized,

he would not reveal his intentions.

How could any of those materialistic people ever know,

That the kid in the back was slowly losing his glow.

Soon

He would show how he lost the meaning to his flow.

the passion he had once of wanting to explode.

Some were left in shock, from what happened to him next,

What he did to himself, left them without words to eject

Silent tears created by those who never knew him,

And to those who knew him,

remained strictly reclusive.

So next time, y

ou see that one guy,

Who walks and runs at the same time,

Dont be shy,

To give that man a try,

What is it really worth to you to stop and say hi,

To maybe pay attention…

And hear that man cry,

Hear that man weep,

Hear that man laugh,

smile,

and reveal what remains so deep.

I’ll Tell you this,

after that last one,

I never will ignore,

Another quiet creative soul like me,

Wanting the chance to release,

the air inhaled within so deep.

.weak point.

.Weak Point.

By: Marie Castiano

We've all been there and hated to go back,

We've all reached that feeling,

and didn't expect them to overreact.

We all say words strong enough,

to stop you in your tracks,

We all see you turn around with a face,

like I stabbed you in the back.

Anger is always what we turn to first,

Anger we regret,

but can't forget,

it's something like a curse.

Yelling makes us feel better,

helps us to release,

Yelling creates unnecessary memories,

that we'll forever keep.

I swear I don't hate you,

and probably never will,

I swear it's only temporary,

but your arrogance is so legendary,

I just can't deal.

Take a step out of your own mind,

and realize what I feel,

Take a step away from me,

and just keep it real.

Maybe we weren't ready for all this love,

Maybe we weren't prepared to accept,

all the confusion clouding our visions,

we're both in such a mess.

Energy is something,

that I have no more left,

Energy is something,

that is hard to resurrect.

Truth in what I say,

and I can only say this,

Truth in what I say,

this is my last kiss.

Try and try again,

what more can I do?

Try and try again,

I've already chosen to lose.

I've reached the limit of no return,

I've reached the climax,

so it's your turn to learn.

Maybe someday you will understand,

the reason for my choice,

Maybe someday you will see,

why I reached my

weak point.

LT Super Heroes [Fantastic Four Freestyle Session]

LT Super Heroes:

Pitayo:

Look up in the air as the light is calling out for help,

so you know how we do

Round up LT full force as we come up running in here to the lyrical rescue...

Spread out the sheets of paper so to eliminate all these invading capers

Then whip out the Super pens to taper off and flow on for more then acres...

To repel the opposisition back and out to tell them our proposisition is clear

Without no doubts our posisition is now firm and that they shouldn't get near...

Us or suffer the ill fate or just to wait to see this Prophecy come to true state Of reality but it will only devastate their souls by then it'll be just too late...

To pack their bags and continue moving onto the next set of that enrages

Us to never lag but get in you proving as we flex to turn these pages...

To erase all their faces out of these places to make plenty of space

That's a waste but it's a disgrace as I wait for the next Super Hero to give chase!.....

b3ba .mC.:

and here i come flying out,

straight out of your oldest copy of the first DC comic ever made,

its b3ba mc enraging fires on the page,

female super hero,

her super power is to blaze,

only comes out when she sees those smoke signals in the sky,

and her theme song is cypress hill/refugee boom biddy bye bye,

i save street poets from common destructive felons of the metaphor type,

release poisonous lyrics to ignite them while i fight,

ran into pit once when i took flight,

told me it was about time that i joined him in the sky,

and i replied yea i figured it was my turn to throw pens and papers in the sky,

and watch all the ethnic children smile while they write,

so i wonder now as i float on this cloud which LT super hero will take the stage now..

Abys:

I bust through the brick wall with a gas mask

After I saw the symbol in the sky - I ran in a flash

Skin hardens into steel to repel against whack raps

Cape wraps around my tights to show females what I pack

Heard the air sizzle above me - In the sky

Then saw Pit N B3ba fly by - Heard Boom Biddy Bye Bye

Out of nowhere - Tears started rolling out my eyes

Blurred with green mist with a Stench only a azz can supply

To escape - I rushed into the next building

To see Star enjoying the show - Clapping with the ethnic children

A gathering of Hero's with their own symbols on their cape

A meeting of greats - Typical Bori ............ I'm late

SKILLZ:

Fake emcees catching cabs while I dust em like the flash

Theres no need for me 2 brag, u know who the f*ck I am

Secret Wars on the brink, 2 fast so don't blink

Cause my skillz is sharp like adamantium dipped in ink

Goblins and hammerheads kill for the recipe

Even Kingpin's and Luthor's try to get the best of me

But Im wallcrawling staying sharper than a crazy sabertooth

And if I feel threatened better pray to almighty jesus

Cause even superman left the booth for a bluetooth

And I made Lobo look sweeter than an episode of bluesclue

But who knew the true troops would be the LT team

Pure poetry like the human torch leaving rocks melting

Boom Biddy Bye bye, its the lyrical Avenger on the rise

FOrce fields blocking all who defy or deny

But can't block my shine due to my ruby quartz eyes

That blast all leaving competiton to fry

A legion to hip hop, stronger than the juggernaut with might

Gamma rays blaze commercial raps like a thunderstrike

So 2 those who bite and claim fake is real

I'll throw the whole arsenal of hammers, webs and shields

Don't hate on this brother for real

Cause u shooting blanks while ladies call me the man of steel

Who Got Next? [The Fanastic Four Freestyle Session]

Who Got Next?

.SKILLZ:

What the F#ck is going on

SAme airplay is flowing on

LION'S dead but still need some lions to form this voltron

Hold on, I see some left their pens FROZON

So im here to hype em up with these lyrical photons

The size of mountains is the verbs that im spitting

B3BA you better come back cause like EPMD this is strictly buisness

STrictly spitting, strictly hitting

The hearts of those thirsty for more of this verbal ammunition

SO lets cook up this %#&@$! and keep spitting

Keep mixing and raise the heat 2 get these punks out of our kitchen

Just a vision of one day getting back the HIP HOP you cats have been missing

SO this is merely a sheet 2 those who want this enlisting

2 break the locks of this garbage infested prison

SKILLZ will have no more of this wakka flakka

Cause Im from the era of the chief rocka numba one chief rocka

ANd I feast proper on instrumentals and make love to tracks like a bootknocker

SO lets dust up the pen and acent to break

BReak like B-boys and flow like graffitti graphed trains

.b3ba .mC.:

Yea aight, ive been verbally

called out by my master minded friend,

b3ba's here dont u worry,

im throwin hits again,

its been a minute, and i feel like they forgot,

who forcefully injected the lyrical venom on this block,

my pen went on vacation a little fatigued from droppin bombs,

but my mental has been boiling,

to release atomic, neutronic, soulfully depicted,

doom linguistics,

and i'll never fade to black,

to all my people on LT tell SKILLZ that im back!

i've never lost it, and i never will,

as long as my history lives,

i'll forever keep droppin lines for u kids,

and i'll never retire until the day i expire,

all i needed was a little fire to start the rage again,

i called the reaper up and made some beats wit him-

chill.

.Pitayo:

Now who's here? I see SKILLZ and B3BA M.C.!

add another temporary 1 now you got 3...

Who's up? My Bad what else would you expect

I'll step up to the plate to do my part to this next...

Since I have full visions of open houses in all the prisons

it's my decision not to avoid this like a Jew & circumcisions...

But take this head on to prove the Industry wrong

by coming out hard without a need of a slow song...

In my mind I'm so ready to play this for all the keeps

As I represent the Real and stick up for all these peeps...

regardless where they're from we're reppin the streets

With the fierce lyrics that'll flow with Old School Beats...

Like Big Daddy Kane I can be a real Smooth Operator

or a Terrorist like D.J. Cash Money on the Gemini Faders...

But all I need is a ream of paper and a full loaded pen

as the words accumulate it only makes a perfect blend...

As I mend with the paticulars while they streak

across the lines neatly then it's finaly complete...

The sounds of these words continue flying off this page

is equivelant to birds singing Help get me out of this cage...

But check it that if they want to critique this for an Inspection

then I'll have No Problem adding them to the Meat Collection!!!

.Abys:

Can I cut in? - Can I get next?

So I can flex my bicep that ripples the muscles in my chest

Voltron???? - I'll be the right arm

With a " I love mom" Tattoo painted on

Quick jabs - From every possible angle

I know yall know I'm out of left field - But that's just a sample

Realistically - I'm a cyborg that's on a killing spree

Eye for an eye - I'll make sure both of us can't see

The rage withing - Changes the color of my skin

Here I'm in a group of LT running top speed - Chargin

A Long Island giant with an alliance

Ride on the train of thoughts that runs on fictional science

I noticed a mind over heating - But wouldn't fade to black

Eh, yo SKILLZ........ That girl B3BA is BACK!!!!!!!!!!!

Big Pun resemblance that's coming out with vengeance

I come into battles - Riding on elephants

Then I drop off the meat at Pit's - As I keep the skeletons

Vanity Vs. Reality [SKILLZ & b3ba .mC. Collaboration]

Vanity Vs. Reality: SKILLZ & b3ba .mC. Collaboration:

SKILLZ:

Oh my God did you see Jersey Shore?

Did you see what she wore?

Starvation? who cares,

Paris Hilton looked like a whore

Oh man what do I do?

What do I do?

I got acres of land but I don't know what to do?

Why not put a small country there thats starving and dying

But you rather die alone than have an empty space that needs occupying

Besides dancing with the stars is on

And my bling looks so pretty everytime I touch the remote to go on

All dollars and cents

But no common sense

So all that money don't add up 2 nothing but dollars and cents

I wonder who's gonna be eliminated on survivor?

Infatuated with wanna be Macgyvers

But no TV shows those in the mideast fighting for this country’s survival

Gentrification anybdy? No?

Ok how about the enquirer?

Sorry got no time for global warming,

CRAP, I just missed a text, my phone was on silence

B3ba .mC.:

Wow hot damn, look at you!

Lookin all extra good in your Gucci shoes,

every time you walk theres a crack on the sidewalk,

From all the bling around your neck,

Bums and moms chase you

From not receiving enough on their welfare checks,

Sorry for not makin it to your last bash,

Had to go to a funeral for an American soldier

Who died in Baghdad,

Wow its crazy I think you knew him,

You threw him outta your all white party,

For wearin some black kicks,

Its amazing how humble he was, he didn’t even trip,

Life of a hero judged over an egotistical prick,

You only view this world through the eyes of greed,

What about the remaining seeds,

That were left with no one, they too are in need,

Shameful display of your legacy,

Don’t breathe on me homie,

Don’t stand so close to me,

People like you remind me of a game of clue,

It was me, with the gun, in the library,

Come and take a stroll with me,

Learn of the history,

Of earth’s carnage in these books,

Make you aware of something,

Rather than what you keep frontin,

Oh lord please let him see something.

.Writer's Block. [SKILLZ & b3ba .mC. Collaboration]

Writer’s Block: SKILLZ & b3ba .mC. Collaboration

SKILLZ:

I think this verse is hot

But line number 2 gets flopped

Why can't I think straight

Why am I stuck,

why did I stop

Pen just drops,

feeling like I lost my notch

This sh*t is a crime so I called the cops

Said they would investigate who would scheme such a plot

But First they had 2 stop by the donut shop

I called B3BA MC to explain the crime

She said it happened 2 her as well cause she forgot her lines

Said she couldn't write at all,

its been like that for weeks

I don't understand being that we some dope Emcee'S

Writing and freestlying for us is just a breeze

But then I had asked her who exactly was HE

WRiters block she replied,

thats when I opened my eyes

I said I hate that motherf*cker,

he does this from time to time

HE out of line, blocking my thoughts,

blocking your versus

On the other line all I can hear Is B3Ba cursing

I think We should verse his versus

Cause I think this fool is worthless

But this time fool crossed the wrong person

Get the car ready,

I'll be by with the ammunition

besides all the cops will do is lock him up in a prison

But this time the rules are out and we looking for revenge

Writers block here we come and this battle is till death

B3ba .mC.:

Somethings not right,

Why the fuk is my paper still white?

Unknowable, unreadable black marks that my pen created,

Different letters and words that have become faded,

Been like this for at least an hour,

This paper is mockin me it has all the power,

Feels like my mind only wants distractions,

Can’t concentrate, only hesitate,

The more I think about it, the more I realize,

The real source keeping from droppin these rhymes,

Writers block bytch ass is in town again,

He likes to steal my topics now and again,

But this is the last time I’ll let him steal from my pen,

My phone is ringing,

Yo, who could it be?

It’s the S-K-I-double-LL-Z,

Had to explain to him about writers block,

Yo this man is fuming on the other side,

And we seeing eye to eye,

His rage is my rage, yo im down to ride,

I got the car ready, grabbed my guns,

Told him I’ll be there around 7,

You ready to have some fun,

Picked him up at the corner,

My man is lookin like he ready for war,

Yelling at me, telling me its time to even the score,

I’m like who better than us to defeat the writers block,

We approach slowly to the parking lot

Saw him here last time,

ruining the street poets natural good time,

SKILLZ went into stealth mode,

As I did the same, didn’t even see us coming up behind him with chains,

SKILLZ went crazy when he was in rage,

I finally had writers block face to face,

Told him this is the last time, he would ever keep me from

Writing my rhymes,

From blockin the fire me and SKILLZ have inside,

Rest in no grammatical peace,

Welcome back to lyrics that our souls will keep.

.Unknown Enter-Vention.

.Unknown Enter-Vention.

By: Marie Castiano

We all hide behind the fronts,

we all hide behind the lies,

to reveal your true feelings

leaves you ready to die,

perilous emotions

left smoke signals in the sky,

we all have to die sometime,

so what was your need to lie?

You are not immune to this experience,

and whether or not you are aware,

we all must confront the consequence,

but if you claim to not be human,

then there is no need for your acceptance.

Your resistance is pointless,

we all have lasers that phase trough your

massless joints and

we will throw you in the cycle,

just like we were thrown,

lightning bolts set ablaze what was once your home,

no longer can retrace what was once your own,

ants now crawl trough your joints and bones.

You will journey to the place

were you created your greatest mistakes,

impossible decisions that put tears on your face,

and you will try your hardest

to see if your awake,

you ask for just a little bit of mercy

from his grace.

We all must confront this feeling,

and we will rip it out your soul

if you try concealing,

doesn't make you any better or worse,

we were all put on this Earth to survive this curse,

whether from above,

whether from below,

we all must reap what we all have sown,

and you may sacrifice the power you have shown,

but it will not alleviate, slow down or

desecrate,

it will only accelerate,

the punishment of your comatose form,

meaning you are forever frozen

in a mental storm.

By: Marie Castiano

.The Last Girl They Would Hate.

.The Last Girl They Would Hate.

By: Marie Castiano

Maybe she likes it, maybe she don't.

maybe she'll scream the words out,

maybe she won't

maybe she'll let the pen bleed the truth out,

maybe she'll let words slowly space out.

It's funny how demented

all her books thought she was,

funny how they thought

she would stumble on her way,

to some imaginary graduation day.

Funny how when she talked about it,

they all just laughed about it,

funny how when the words she promised to speak,

would reveal their death and their demise.

She loved it, when she finally spoke those words,

loved the way their eyes widened

to the point of dismemberment,

loved how their mouths stayed wide open

and how she didn't let them scream,

loved how finally once and for all

she would have the last laugh,

loved the final smile,

she would ever let them have.

What makes them believe that she is

nothing more than a girl they can destroy,

and take away all her joy,

It's really not that simple,

you see,

she does have joints and tendons

and she can feel the pain from the skin

they always make her peel.

She is more than what her body gives off,

she is more than the way she lays down,

she is more than her smile,

she is more than her frown.

They don't like what she does,

they love when she doesn't do it,

they love her misery and her loneliness,

they hate her laughter and her joyfulness,

they love to hear when she screams in dismay,

they hate when she comes out victorious once again.

She asks if its a crime to love,

and to rescue those who never did her wrong.

And as she rescued those who did do her wrong,

they saw her real true imagery,

she was an angel after all,

those that spilled dirt and pissed all over her name,

were left in darkness guilt and shame.

She left them all there as she said this:

nothing ever is what it seems,

don't be so quick to judge

things you know nothing of,

for if you saw me as something that clearly im not,

you'll have two choices in the end,

what's real and what's not.

By: Marie Castiano

Clearing My Head By: Marie Castiano

Clearing My Head

By: Marie Castiano

First off, first dose, today I don't feel like most,

feelin like E, in solitary confinement,

i couldn't even find it, the exit,

where did it go?

feel like im bein pushed below.

Today is like fuck evertything, and everyone

I got a different perspective,

today I'm one,

with the evil bitch inside of me,

today she won,

she doesn't always take over,

but today something's being pushed over.

I feel like an avenger today,

feel like killin somebody if I don't get my own way,

feel like finally sayin,

what I've always wanted to say,

fell like sayin, fuck all ya'll

and juz walkin away.

Feel like gettin payback on all those

that did me wrong,

feel like reincarnating some fucked up song,

that i threw away cuz the shyt was too fuckin long,

feel like making them feel,

the way they made me feel,

feel like choking them out,

till i hear them all squeal,

hear them scream,

saying incoherent words,

that belong to those forbidden lost souls,

got lost in the forbidden crossroads.

Believe me im real,

and today I feel,

like you wont be able to deal,

with the pain I feel,

And if I could just have one person

that really understands,

that one single person don't have to be my fam.

Juzt enough for me to empty my mental,

and expose feelings that have always been unexpressed,

things that I've never had the strength

to really digest,

and if I could let go,

it might bring some peace to my soul,

and delay the process of wanting to explode.

By: Marie Castiano

.Mis-Representing My Surface.

.Mis-Representing My Surface

By: Marie Castiano

.The water on the surface of my pool

has never been crystal clear,

they always judged my book by its cover

and named it fear,

she's so weird,

personality is so hard to read,

too hard to guess who could she be.

.It has never been worth the trouble

or the struggle to get to know me,

they have so many misconceptions created by their glory.

I mess up and they laugh,

I pick myself up, when i didn't realize that I crashed,

I realized long ago they will never understand,

they will accept any fake thing that I put between in their hands.

.To be sincere is your destruction,

to know their betrayal is their disruption,

to never trust again is as good as it gets,

to hold back my tears is my best bet,

it's happened so much,

that I've fallen in love with my beautiful depression,

I've put all my battle scars into one section.

.To love so much is always my mistake,

to give what I can't receive it always my disgrace,

to believe that my positivity will keep me on track,

when I have to fake so many emotions it takes me off my path.

.What my heart desired never reflects on my surface,

they will never see my tears,

as long as I am focused,

I hide my pain behind every door that I open,

all the doors that I have closed

will never again be opened,

.I gave them all a try to really get to know me

before I died,

the Marie they knew died long ago

just because they denied her the happiness

that she desired long ago.

.And so I've mis-represented my surface

because it's obvious to me now that it was never worth it,

the face you see it's just a mask,

my tears are hidden inside my hearts flask,

my words are kind,

but are spilled just like poison,

its obviously a miracle that I keep on going.

.My last words were,

you'll never know me,

because I will always portray myself as the phony,

I will forever fake it, until I make it,

and I will remain a good liar,

yes I was the seller,

and everyone else was the buyer.

.MugShotz.

MugShotz

By: Marie Castiano

.He sees a flash,

from the corner of his eye,

he's standing to his left,

slightly starting to remember,

things just now coming into focus,

he's standing there looking like a crazy locust.

.The last thing he remembers saying was:

"Tonight will be a night to remember."

Ironic right? To his astonishment

tonight ended up being,

like no other night.

For a minute he saw his friends reflection,

damn he looked all fucked up,

what the fuck where they doing that he's all messed up?

.A man with a deep voice said:

"Turn to your right now son",

like he didn't have control of his body he did,

what the man had said.

Damn his head left like it was on fire,

his eyes were blood shot red.

.As he was directed into another room,

he felt like he was taking the steps to his doom,

He sat down on a hard and cold chair,

the room he was in was grim and bare,

and while he was waiting for some sort of revelation,

he started to remember,

his supposed night to remember.

.His mind created flashes,

visions of his last locations,

words of his last vocations,

slowly remembering his 100th beer,

and how they all left the bar without any fear.

He remembered a fight,

how he had fought with all his might,

he took a quick glance at his hands,

and noticed spots of dried blood,

blistering his hands.

.He felt diseased in a way,

trying to recollect what his brain could not manifest,

with no luck yet,

he remembers a face, he could not forget,

she was beauty in all the forms of the word,

he remembers telling her so many cold and unforgiving words,

he remembers walking away,

and her begging him to stay,

he remembers laughing at hear tears,

and he remembers shedding no tears.

.His mind flashed once again,

and he remembered what happened to his friend.

A car door slammed,

the car rolled once again,

his hands on the wheel,

he swore he could feel,

the devil talking to him once again.

"That car cut you off, pop the clutch and don't worry my friend".

.The rest was a blur,

a nightmare that he himself had made into reality,

his friend was a fatality,

at the beginning there were three,

but as the mugshots revealed,

the devil had made a deal,

that three he could defend,

but soon this young man noticed,

that there were only two in the end.

.I Am My Freestyle's Keeper.

I Am My Freestyle's Keeper

By: Marie Castiano

.I walked around in the record store all day,

my stomach got sick from all the shit on display,

what the fuck? when the fuck? who the fuck is this?

I listened before I judged,

slow to call it quits.

.Lil Wayne was the first to say,

Hip-hops not dead, that he got it okay,

but as I walked around

it seemed more and more

like a funeral town.

.Must've been more like he

emptied a clip in hip-hops head,

an assigned her the label,

solemnly dead.

.Then I stumbled upon an old ass song,

crazy mix-tape from back in the day,

The little demon child inside of my brain, said:

" It was real hip hop then, those were the innovators of those days."

...Then another voice called from beyond the grave...

"I am The Freestyle Monster Mother-Fucker and I Got Sum Shyt To Say!!!!."

.I was like:

"woah hold up, wait a minute, wats up?"

He Said:

"This is your mission today, let us create,

the real hip-hop funeral, finally put it away."

.Then I, a little suprised,

decided maybe I should compromise:

"But yo freestyle monster, can't you revive it again?

Call the reaper up and make some beats with him."

.Then I looked around at all the,

perpetrating emcees,

and the fake ass gangsters,

tryna look like they real on CD's.

.That's when I understood,

what the freestyle monster wanted me to do,

I could hear the demon child,

laughing away,

he understood it was hip-hop's funeral today.

.I hazed the day away,

and left the record store.

The day ended rather strangely,

last thing that my mind could define,

was an amber fiery color so divine.

.Then I got a call from my friend,

he was trippin, acting crazy, a little frantic he said:

"O shit son, you know what happened today?

Somebody blazed up the record store and blew that shit away!!!"

.I heard the freestyle monster laughing,

then the demon child laughed,

then I put my phone under my cover,

and i started to laugh.

.So till this day,

they all still say,

she is her freestyle's keeper,

she saved hip-hop in a way.

.A Lost Scroll.

A Lost Scroll

By : Marie Castiano

.Hello to the bosses of the stereotypes,

heard you wanted a fight with me today,

well here's a chance to say

what you wanted to say.

.No, I will not back away,

I will not stand down,

I will not let you your insecurities run this town.

You may be famous to the shallow illiterates

that run down the hall,

but let me say that they'll be the first to laugh at you,

when your fame starts to fall.

.I don't know what you want me to be,

but i'll make one thing clear,

even if I cared to change who I am,

what makes you think,

I would be a part of your clan?

.I just don't get it,

I don't understand,

your life is controlled by a thread

of the doubt that you hang, and a little bit

of fake ass confidence that you have,

and something that you call "pride"

but don't understand the meaning to be had.

.I was humble enough

to not laugh at you when you started to cry,

it's funny how you started off being a boss,

but the other bosses, flipped and switched on you

oh so quick,

But you forgot, life is nothing but a bitch,

such cruel realities happen on the everyday,

your egotistical values were blocking your entry,

now you see outside your shiny gleaming blinding walls,

you were the last person anyone wanted to envy.

.You were a game to them,

if not just a pawn,

the light burning your insides on this beautiful dawn.

Next time you think you're winning,

don't forget about the losers,

because we're the one

you'll wanting to heal you,

when their calling you a

loser.

.Ending The Issue.

Ending The Issue

By: Marie Castiano

.I remember the last time my heart broke,

I remember when that final piece fell to the floor.

It felt like I couldn't move anymore,

It felt like the final time my soul tore.

.I felt like that innocent little girl,

that had always been between a rock and a hard place.

That night the truth spilled out of

and dripped on my skin,

like lethal burning acid.

.My tears fell to the floor,

leaving little holes on the ground,

that resembled the painful holes you left in my heart.

You left me weak, in pain and nonrespondent.

This was the end of the road,

no more going beyond it.

.The fallout of that night was simply anger,

regret and a sadness that penetrated me so deeply,

that I didn't breathe the same for days.

How could I have been the only victim of your malice,

evil and malevolent ways.

.But from that moment and time,

my view of how I truly saw you changed,

I felt like I could never forgive you ever again.

.I refused to play the same role that was always played,

when things went wrong,

I refused to play the same chords

of your miserable unsymbolic song.

.Reconciliation seemed so far from my heart,

but I am who I am, and I knew

that I would have to find a way

to move on.

.Despite the hurt that you have caused,

my heart continued to want your love.

There was so many things I wanted

to say to you,

but my pride seemed always to get in the way.

I unraveled my pain in a letter I wrote,

but every time I would speak,

all I could do was choke.

.I realize now that all i could do

was let you know,

that destiny is calling for me,

and I can't ignore the call,

just now that I will always love you,

and that I just wanted the drama

to stop once and for all.

.This is my way of finding closure,

with the pain I felt,

positivity is taking the stage now,

I'm letting the negative have its final bow now,

I wish you

Dad

all the happiness in the world,

don't worry bout me daddy,

no matter what I do or where I go,

I will always be your

Little Girl.

.I Am Weird.

I Am Weird

By: Marie Castiano

.They say I am weird because,

I tend to speak my mind of things,

that seem only important to me.

I say them without pause because

I am not afraid to speak

and I say them clearly

so all could hear, that naturally,

I have no man made fears.

.They say I am weird because,

I go against the flow, but I don't want any attention,

I don't do it so they can look at me,

did I forget to mention?

I simply just don't want to be

a part of you zombie convention.

I go my own way because

I don't want to fall into your dimension.

.They say I am weird because

of my abstract thoughts,

because i refuse to think the same,

because of what they thought

was so rad and cool

I thought to be lame.

Because I didn't choose their path of destruction

I was put to shame.

But I laughed at their idiotic remarks just the same.

.And I told them, you can't shut me up,

You can't judge me for what i do

or for what i'm not.

You can't force me to think

the way you want me to,

you can't make me believe

that I don't see you all as fools.

.And to this they said,

you're such a weirdo, creep-o,

non-understandable, unbelievable,

under achieved student of some unknown school,

wat the hell makes you think you're so cool?

.And I said screaming

so the un-attentive crowd could hear me:

.If weird is to be unique,

is to be spiritual, musical, intelligent,

capable of having my own opinion

and having the strength and will to express it,

to go against the incoherent rhythms

that you all seem to follow,

because i dance in the middle of the street

when you hear no music,

but in my head there is a beat,

because i hear trumpets and drums

and i dance to them all,

and you choose to talk between the sessions

and i sing to them all

,and i wear whatever i wanna wear

depending on my mood,

and i dont care if, my hair, is

braided, straightened, permed, relaxed

or i just let my natural locks curl below me

till they reach the end of the block,

and you paint the mona lisa,

and i splatter, spray and sharpie

with every single color and then some.

.If being weird means not being you or anyone else,

then i am distinguishably, un-labeled,

un-categorized, un-spoiled,

the weirdest person on the face of the planet!!!!

.I walked away

but i honestly considered walking back to say:

"If i was to be anything,

but what i said i am, then i'll admit I.AM.WEIRD.

By: Marie Castiano